Skincare Survival Guide for Moms in Their 30s and 40s

At Friend of a Mom, we know how tough it can be to put yourself first with kids, chores, and endless to-do lists. That’s why we asked our friend Ashley Klein, a mom and Nurse Injector, to share practical skincare tips for busy moms. Here’s what she recommends for keeping your skin healthy and glowing, even when life gets hectic.

Ashley Klein, B.S, BSN, RN, Nurse Injector 

If you’re a busy mom in your 30’s or 40’s, skincare might find itself at the very bottom of your “To-Do” list. Keeping humans alive and trying to find some sort of balance in your chaotic days most likely trumps everything else. In a world filled with overwhelming information on clean products, poisoned plastic, and the feeling that we’re messing up our kids' at every given turn, making our faces look nice isn’t always top of mind. 

With that being said, I truly get it. Even as someone who has been in the aesthetics industry for a while, I find myself digging into the depths of my soul just to brush my teeth or do my skincare routine most nights. I am highly confused by people with 17-step skincare routines who get up at 5:30 am to work out. I sincerely hope God makes me one of those women one day, but I am still waiting patiently. 

As a mom, my kids come first. My husband is somewhere up there in the ranks with my kids, but as a fully functioning adult, he tends to slide down to the number 2 or 3 spot when my work or kids have extra needs. Certainly, my self-care and beauty have taken a massive hit in this season of life. I find myself dimming things down to what I absolutely need in order to stay looking and feeling my best. For me at 40 years old, this is a mix of an easy, effective skincare routine and neurotoxin treatments when mine wear off. Those things are my “must haves”. I also love to get filler and laser treatments when time and budgets allow. Additionally, there is a red light mask sitting in the corner of my room staring at me with evil eyes as I type this. Someday, buddy. Someday. 

Below, I have gathered the recommendations and treatments I feel are the most vital or most optimizing for women in their 30s and 40s, based on how we age and what our skin is doing at these ages. Skincare is absolutely never one-size-fits-all. It does not always have to cost big bucks either. What works for you might not work for the next woman exactly your age. Do what works for you and your skin type. Find a provider you trust who won’t push things on you to make money. And by all means, reach out to me with any questions! This is my passion. I love helping my friends and clients feel their best! 

Skincare in Your 30s: Prevention is Key

In your 30’s, one of the main words I want to emphasize is “prevention”. Yes, it is true that many of us would love to go back even further to high school and smack ourselves sideways for jumping into a tanning bed. But the truth is, I’ve seen numerous women completely transform their skin in their 30’s, regardless of the questionable skin care decisions of their teens and 20’s. Your 30’s are a time where prevention absolutely still matters and finding the things that work great for your skin will pay off big time. 

Create a Solid Skincare Routine and Sunscreen is Non-Negotiable:

It is crucial to create a skincare routine that works best for your skin type and to be consistent with it. Consistency with the right products might be one of the most powerful tools we have that doesn’t come from a needle or scalpel. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to drop $500 per month on top-notch products. Working with an injector or esthetician you trust can help you make smart decisions about your purchases. Also, if they’re transparent, they can help you see where you can save money and not opt for the high-end stuff unnecessarily. It can be extremely easy to get caught in a TikTok rabbit hole and not know which end is up when it comes to skincare. Make sure to stay away from the endless trends you see online and create a simple routine. 

As far as sunscreen goes, I’ll be the first to tell you that I understand it can get confusing when people online are making it feel like you should never let 1 inch of your skin see the light of day. I don’t think you need to wear a visor and gloves to drive the car, but a daily sunscreen can be vital to your skin’s health and aging prevention. I often see people coming to me spending hundreds and thousands of dollars on treatments that would probably work much better or possibly not be needed at all if they’d just stop baking in the sun. Changing out your foundation with a daily tinted sunscreen is a great start. If your tinted sunscreen has iron oxide, it can actually help prevent brown spots or hyperpigmentation, which many of us struggle with. Also, using clothing like hats and sun shirts when you’re in the really harsh sun is a must. You choose: Do you want to be a sexy, tan mama in your bikini by the pool in the summer or do you want to age gracefully, prevent wrinkles, and not have grandma arms and chest by the time you’re 45? Your body, your choice!

Retinoids: Your Anti-Aging Hero

Say it again for the people in the back. Retinoids, retinoids, RETINOIDS! You might be more familiar with the term “retinol”, which is an over-the-counter, lesser-strength version of a retinoid. Either way, they’re all a huge benefit. An easy way to decipher the 2 is this: If you can buy it at the drugstore, it’s not as strong and won’t give you the bigger results. If you have to get it from the Dermatologist, an online prescription service, or a medical-grade skincare company, it is stronger and will do more work. 

I recommend everyone in their 30s and 40s be using a retinoid. According to the American Academy of Dermatology Association (AAD), Dermatologists first discovered the benefits of retinoids when they noticed their acne patients started to see anti-aging properties. According to the AAD, retinol promotes faster skin turnover, boosts collagen production, improves skin tone, and reduces fine lines and wrinkles. The best part about this topical medication is that it has been widely used and studied since the 1970’s. Yes, my brain thinks that was 30 years ago as well but it is actually over 50 years ago! 

I find that the hardest thing about using a retinol is being consistent and getting past the dry or peeling phase. I recommend a few things. 1) Always use the cream on a dry face. Studies show that a wet face absorbs the product too effectively and it can make you flare up. 2) Start slow! I recommend starting every 3rd night for 1 month, every other night for 1 month, then every night if you can tolerate it. Remember, if you can’t tolerate it, you can always keep it at every other night and still get major benefits! 

There are a few reasons to steer clear of drugs in the retinoid family. Some of these include pregnancy, breastfeeding, and other skin conditions on the face that may be flared by the product. If you’re unsure, shoot your doctor or Dermatologist a quick note and ask if it is okay to use. If you’re in the clear, start immediately! 

Microneedling: A Game-Changer

This is one of my favorite treatments for someone in their 30’s. Microneedling is a treatment where we use tiny needles to create controlled, micro-injuries in the skin. You are numbed before the treatment, so most patients describe the treatment as fairly painless. The small injuries that are created with the needle then start to heal, which is where the magic is made. This healing helps with wrinkles and the overall appearance of your skin. Microneedling cost per treatment can usually be lowered if you buy a package of 3 or 4, which you’ll definitely want to do after you see how great your skin looks! This is also a great option for someone who feels nervous about starting Botox or other injectables. 

Neurotoxins (a.k.a. Botox)

As long as you are medically cleared to do so, you might want to consider incorporating a neurotoxin into your routine. A neurotoxin is what most people recognize as “Botox”, but there are several other comparable brands. In my professional opinion, there is no glow up/confidence boost that hits harder than a first-time neurotoxin treatment. Granted, not every person in their 30’s is in need of this treatment. It is vital to go to someone who has experience and is not trying to simply make a sale. Neurotoxins should be considered when you want to smooth areas of the face or when the muscle activity on your face is starting to bother you. Often, my first-time neurotoxin patients are the ones who come to me in order to get rid of the “11’s” between their brows, the wrinkles on their forehead, or the “crows feet” they get when they smile or squint. 

Remember, most reliable med spas offer free consults. So, if you’re unsure, book one and have a chat! Just don’t come crying to me when you’re completely addicted and look like you suddenly get 15 hours of sleep per night, okay!?

Chemical Peels: Glow, Baby, Glow

I LOVE a chemical peel for most ages! Whether you suffer from acne, aging skin, brown spots, dull skin, or fine lines, there is a chemical peel for you. Most med spas offer medium-depth peels, meaning you will have a couple days of light to heavy skin shedding, but you won’t be getting too deep into the skin and causing major side effects. Peels are generally painless. My patients describe them as “spicy” during treatments. They are an amazing addition to your rotation to elevate your skin and help you meet your skincare goals. (Insider tip: buy them in a 3-pack or during an “off” season such as midsummer. You may get a better price and can use the peels in summer as long as you avoid the direct sun on your face, which you are doing anyway, right?!)

Skincare in Your 40s: Repair and Rejuvenate

I have heard from friends and clients (and also from my own experience) that 40 felt like a big turning point where our skin started to feel “blah”.  Whether it was the creepiness, sagging, or noticing extra wrinkles, it came on strong in our late 30’s and early 40’s. With that being said, prevention should still be your first line of defence. So much of what we see is preventable, so why create more problems? Another thing I have noticed as someone in their 40’s is that undoing damage or fixing the things we “dislike” gets harder and harder. Unfortunately, our skin doesn’t have the “bounce back” it used to. Therefore, it is important to be continuing prevention in addition to repairing and treating the things that you choose.

Start with the Basics

Everything mentioned in the 30’s list also holds true here. We are preventing, treating, and healing our skin based on our skin type and needs. Additional things to consider for the 40’s age group would be the following:

Zap to Glow: Laser Treatments for Busy Moms

My recommendation for laser treatments can actually start at any age depending on your trouble areas, but I do feel they can be vital for skin in our 40’s. Laser treatments are a great option to undo brown spots of sun damage. And if you’re in your late 30’s or 40’s and looking to even out your skin tone, a laser can be a valuable complement to other treatments. Lasers vary with what they are used for, how extreme they are, and how much they cost. There is usually some down time, but most of the ones I have used are minimally invasive. Of many of the aesthetic treatments we see come and go, lasers are here to stay and are only getting better.  

Bring Back the Bounce: Collagen

By the time we hit 40, our collagen production is really not great. Ever wonder why a little kid heals so quickly and it takes us so much longer? Wonder why little Johnny on the school yard has glass skin when all he does is play in mud? Here you are with a skincare routine fit for the Gods and your skin doesn’t shine like his. Yeah, you can blame slow collagen production for that. As we age, our collagen production goes down the toilet, leaving us dry, lackluster and with more signs of aging than ever before. 

Unfortunately, the research on collagen powders tends to come and go. I personally have never read a definite study showing an absolute slam dunk for pro-collagen supplements. However, much of the research does point to some signs that collagen powders improve the skin in one way or another. And with many of the powders or supplements providing other benefits to our bodies, there is not much of a reason not to add them to the Russian roulette of vitamins you’re probably already taking by this time. 

Plump It Up: Injectable Collagen Boosters

If you’re heard of Sculptra or Radiesse, these are what we consider collagen bio-stimulators. Although they are both technically dermal fillers, most people are using them for their other benefits. As many of us are getting into our 40s and even 50’s, we are beginning to see that we don’t want to overfill our faces with filler for several reasons. Unnatural appearance, risk of migration, and loss of elasticity in our skin to support the filler are among a few of those reasons. With aesthetics getting smarter and smarter, many consumers are adding on a bio-stimulator to help their bodies produce collagen instead of simply filling volume. 

Sculptra and Radiesse work in different ways and differ in their active ingredients, but they are essentially getting to the same results: building collagen and helping skin look better using its own mechanisms of collagen rebuilding. Be sure to ask your injector which would be right for you and always be upfront about any autoimmune disorders you have to ensure they make the correct choice for your body. 

Addressing Hormone and Vitamin Levels

Lastly, and possibly most importantly, I feel it is vital to address our bodies from the inside out, especially when we hit 40. There is a reason the best med spas in the city also have a Medical Director on staff equipped to address hormone imbalances and overall wellness. In our 40’s, hormones might not be where they should be for several reasons. Women in this age group may be post-pregnancies, in the middle of pregnancy, just starting motherhood, or even hitting perimenopause. The list of how hormones can affect not only our bodies but our skin is a mile long. The same goes for vitamin deficiencies affecting the body and skin. Speaking to a professional and getting some simple blood work could be a step towards better skin health. 

General Tips for All Ages

• Hydration: Maintain adequate hydration by drinking plenty of water and using moisturizers that lock in moisture.

• Healthy Lifestyle: A balanced diet rich in antioxidants, regular exercise, and sufficient sleep contribute to overall skin health.

• Stress Management: Incorporate stress-reducing activities into your routine, as stress can negatively affect your skin.

Final Thoughts:

Don’t aim for perfection; aim for what works for you. 

As I mentioned before, any of the treatments or suggestions I made above can be for multiple age groups, not just 30’s and 40’s. By far, the most important thing is having consistency and understanding why and when to do all this stuff. This is where a medical professional comes in. Although there is a massive amount of valuable information online, it’s important to sift through the bullcrap first and find what works for you. Someone who takes the time to educate you and recommend products and procedures within your budget and specific goals is someone to stick with! This is also meant to be an extensive list for your education and consumption. Much like being a parent, pick and choose the things that work for you and forget about anything that doesn’t!   

Ashley Klein, B.S, BSN, RN, Nurse Injector 

Follow her on instagram here!

Thanks to Ashley Klein for sharing these realistic, practical skincare tips. As moms, we often put ourselves last, but a little self-care can go a long way. Here’s to starting 2025 with a glow, inside and out!

Ashley with her husband and two daughters

https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-secrets/anti-aging/retinoid-retinol

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